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Vulgar Opinions: Adrian Dater Gets Fired For Being A Creep, Makes Excuses, Doesn’t Apologize (NSFW)

12/03/14

Adrian Dater, a hockey writer for the Denver Post, just got fired for treating Twitter Direct Messages with followers as his own personal amateur porn lab, requesting nude/semi-nude photos from at least two women.  He had this to say on Facebook:

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It might be the longest fucking non-apology in existence.  Dater gets right into the deflection.  It’s not him, it’s his temper.  (I bet that’s the first lesson in Justifying Abuse 101 by the way.)  Oh, and he’s also had substance abuse problems, to which he refuses to go into detail about.  Which is fine, even an asshole like Dater has the right to that privacy, but he’s talking about it less like it’s a problem he wants to fix and more like something he wants to use to explain being a shithead.  And even if he does fix that part of himself (and I hope he does), it’s not going to fix the shitty parts of personality that it allows to more easily and more frequently see the light of day.

But…not only does he deflect his extremely problematic views on women to his temper and substance abuse, but he then deflects the blame for those to nights spent away from home on the road, and stress.  He doesn’t seek a shred of responsibility for his actions, he says “this made me do this, which made me do that.”  He wants us to all go “aww, poor Adrian Dater.  It’s not his fault he reduces women to jerkoff material.  He’s had a tough life.”  At some point he has to admit that a huge part of his problem is who he’s shown himself to be as a person.

If he actually regretted his actions, he wouldn’t take a vague shot at the women who came forward in the very next line: “I do believe some things said about me in accusatory manners is [sic] totally false, with people misrepresenting things.”

FUCK YOU Adrian Dater.   The screenshots are there for all of us to see.  There is nothing accusatory or false about you being a fucking creep.  Do you know what men who are sorry and who want to be accountable do?  They take a step back and try to see things from others’ perspectives.  They don’t beeline to the Gargoyle Whineyshits brand of “feminism” and go “totally not a misogynist, totally, I promise.  You’re wrong.”  They listen and they say “shit, you’re right, and I need to think about how I come off when I interact with people.”  (I set the bar real low for him there.)

They also actually fucking apologize to the people they creeped on, which Dater doesn’t do.  Sure, he’s sorry he “let people down,” but not sorry he made women uncomfortable on Twitter and contributed to making Twitter an unsafe space for them.  He’s not sorry he contributed to a culture that makes thousands of women question entering that profession…if they don’t choose to avoid it altogether.  He’s not sorry that some of his female colleagues probably feel a little uncomfortable about having had to work with him now.

He looks like he’s just sorry Denver Post doesn’t come after his name anymore.

Edit: The response from one of the women (the woman?) linked above.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. 12/03/14 8:24 PM

    I’m pretty sure it’s the same woman in both instances. She’s a big Wings fan and I think occasional blogger herself. For what it’s worth, here’s her take on the matter: https://twitter.com/Mariia19/status/540294232385134593

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