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Yet Another Thing Buffalo Has That Toronto Doesn’t


This isn’t hockey, but fuck it.  Terry Pegula (hockey!) has purchased the Buffalo Bills largely in the same manner that you or I would purchase Legos or alcohol (or both!).  That means that in addition to Josh Gorges and the 2015 and 2016 NHL Scouting Combines, this is yet another thing that Buffalo has that Toronto doesn’t.

Shit, we should get a CFL team anyway and see if we can take the Grey Cup too.

Shitty reporters from Toronto tabloids keep telling us how much worse Buffalo is than Toronto and yet people and things keep preferring the Queen City and not the…Muddy York?  Haha, really?  Wait…it looks like Toronto has a history of sucking.

Toronto has garnered various nicknames throughout its history. Among the earliest of these was the disparaging Muddy York, used during the settlement’s early growth. At the time, there were no sewers or storm drains, and the streets were unpaved. During rainfall, water would accumulate on the dirt roads, transforming them into often impassable muddy avenues.[8]

A more disparaging nickname used by the early residents was Little York,[1] referring to its establishment as a collection of twelve log homes at the mouth of the Don River surrounded by wilderness, and used in comparison to New York City in the United States and York in England.

Adjectives were sometimes attached to Little York; records from the Legislative Council of the time indicate that dirty Little York and nasty Little York were used by residents.

He hoped the name of Toronto would be adopted, and by that means the inhabitants would not be subjected to the indignity of residing in a place designated “dirty little York”.

It would in some measure meet his notice for a change of the seat of Government as much as could be done this Session, for it would change the name from “Nasty Little York” to the CITY OF TORONTO.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.  Jesus Fucking Christ I don’t even have anything else to say after that.  Holy shit.  “Ya, we should call our city Toronto because the alternative is Miserable Shit Muffin, eh?”

Enjoy Josh Gorges not playing for your Nasty Little York Maple Leafs, the Nasty Little York Bills not being a thing, and the NHL turning up its nose at holding one of its premiere events in Nasty Little York.


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