Intrepid Smart-ass to Post “Fire Regier!!!” During Next Game
Today the Buffalo Sabres announced that General Manager Darcy Regier and head coach Ron Rolston were fired. Hall of Famer and former Sabre Pat LaFontaine has been brought in as the President of Hockey Operation, while the coaching position has been filled on an interim basis by former head coach Ted Nolan.
This is an exciting time for many fans that felt that Regier had grown stale. But more importantly, this is an opportunity for some Smart-ass (pictured above) to make his mark on the social media scene. And it all comes down to timing.
“Fans have been posting ‘Fire Regier!!!’ for a long time now,” some smart-ass named Mike explained to BBG staff, “Not just this year. Not just on Facebook or on blog posts, but all over the place. They even leave that comment on posts that don’t involve the Sabres, such as Bills posts.
“I really think it’s funny when they leave that comment in Bills posts,” Mike chuckled to himself for a moment.
The humor would be that Darcy Regier, having just been fired, can’t be fired again without first being re-hired. This contrast causes a misfire in the logical center of most human brains which results in the realization of absurdity. In many cases, this brings about laughter.
But what exactly makes that comment funny now, as opposed to the myriad other times it’s been posted?
“Well, see, now they actually did fire Regier, but it’s like I’m still not happy,” Mike explained, a wise-ass grin creeping up his face in such a way that I just wanted to smack him upside the head, “So it’s ironic. Or maybe it’s not ironic. I actually don’t know what ironic means. Isn’t that ironic!?”
This guy who’s clearly never been put in his place waited a bit too long for BBG staff to ‘get it’, but we did not reward his begging for approval. Indeed dozens of people are no doubt going to be itching to leave this comment at the opportune time. Surely Mike and his freaking smirk that makes me want to hold his face underwater couldn’t think he was being original.
“No, I know there’s some stiff competition here,” Mike laid out his plan in detail and subsequently made me grip the arms of the chair I was seated in to restrain myself from wiping that shit-eating look off his face, “I know a lot of people are going to be trying to be the first to post that comment. But I have it down to a system. I’m going to be the best to post it. It’s all about when you do it.
“See,” he went on as my vision started to blur a bit, “Anyone can post that comment right away. Those are the knee-jerk people. They don’t have patience. The trick is to post it during the game on Friday. It’s going to take a lot of patience, but isn’t that what Pat LaFontaine stressed to fans today? Patience? Well I can be patient. I can.”
Mike’s smart-ass leg was bouncing up and down, indicating that he was bursting at the seams with anticipation. It was clear that he couldn’t wait to reap the rewards from this comedy gold, but he will have to contain himself for now. He also has to decide where exactly he will post this comment for maximum social approval.
“Gee, I don’t know. I mean the WGR Facebook page is a good spot, but that’s where I’ll have the most people competing with me,” Mike for the first time evaluated how he would go about this move of extraordinary comedic brilliance, “But the Sabres official Facebook page might get more traffic. They might not appreciate it as much, though, which could cost me Like’s.”
That’s what it’s all about, though. The Like’s. And Mike’s had a few Like’s in his time.
“Oh no doubt. I’ve been around the block on that,” he recollected, “I remember I posted a comment to give Afinogenov more ice time. This was in 2011, so Max had been off the team for a couple years, which meant everybody knew it was a joke. I think I got 8, maybe 9 Like’s. That was a good one.”
This time Mike is hoping for upwards of 25 Like’s.
“We’ll see how it goes. I might even land a few people that don’t get the joke,” his eyes opened wide, his pupils dilated like a cat playing with a new toy, “Then they’ll reply to my comment and make themselves look like a humorless dork. That’s called trolling. It’s hilarious!”
At this point, in the name of trying to understand the limits of comedic timing, I asked Mike why he wouldn’t reach further back and post a comment that said ‘Fire Ruff!!!’ For the first time his smile went away, replaced by a tightening of the jaw.
“That one’s a little past its prime,” his words stabbed at me, “Why don’t you leave this to the professionals?”
Stay tuned for the game on Friday night. Mike will try to beat other smart-asses, but only one will walk away with the most Like’s. Also there’s stuff involving the team but no one cares about that.