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Stars and Black Holes: Bruins @ Sabres: 10-23-13


Finally getting to this one after the John Scott story blew up.  It’s been covered extensively so this is going to be less about that and more about the terrible hockey team that is the Buffalo Sabres.  The Sabres decided to respond to miraculously only being down 3-2 heading into the third by getting outshot 13-2 and eventually losing 5-2.


  1. Marcus Foligno – Two assists and starting to approach “gosh our terrible team might be masking the fact that this guy is really good” territory.
  2. Nikita Zadorov – Gotta love the first goal adulation.
  3. None.

Unsung Hero:

  • None.

The Robert Wade Niedermayer Memorial Black Holes:

  • The shit is spread so wide with this team it’s difficult to rank awfulness, so these are all First Black Holes.
  • Mike Weber – Mike Weber is a goddamn disaster but because we have two (three?) rookies, a drunk Henrik Tallinder and a Christian Ehrhoff that I have to imagine hates his life he played 22:14 or the most of any Sabre.
  • Drew Stafford – Drew Stafford is so goddamn bad right now we congratualate him for anything that doesn’t involve dropping trou and taking a dump on the ice.  Drew Stafford went to the net once, boy Drew Stafford is having his best game of the year.
  • Tyler Ennis – Watching Ennis play hockey is like listening to ten hours of Soulja Boy mixed with the wails of a dying manatee.
  • Cody Hodgson – Somehow Hodgson wasn’t directly responsible for any goals yet again, but screw him anyway.
  • Henrik Tallinder – Well, he didn’t fix Myers, but he did make Myers by default the third best defenseman on the team right now.  So there’s that.  How did Myers succeed with this guy?  He has the decision making skills of a dog in a cat litter factory.

Unseen Goat:

  • None

2013-2014 Leaderboard (+3, +2, +1, +2 for Stars and USH, minus the same for Black Holes and USG)

  1. Ryan Miller +11
  2. Thomas Vanek +9
  3. Christian Ehrhoff +8
  4. Brian Flynn +8
  5. Marcus Foligno +8
  6. Mark Pysyk +4
  7. Jhonas Enroth +4
  8. Zemgus Girgensons +3
  9. Nikita Zadorov +2
  10. Jamie McBain
  11. Ville Leino
  12. Mikhail Grigorenko
  13. Rasmus Ristolainen -1
  14. John Scott -1
  15. Patrick Kaleta -2
  16. Cody McCormick -3
  17. Henrik Tallinder -4
  18. Steve Ott -5
  19. Kevin Porter -5
  20. Cody Hodgson -7
  21. Tyler Myers -7
  22. Drew Stafford -13
  23. Tyler Ennis -16
  24. Mike Weber -16
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