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Vulgar Opinions: The Worst Post-Lockout Contracts, Round 1, Part 4


In the absence of any hockey-related fun going on, and in the wake of a tortuously slow free agency season, I have decided to compile a bracket of what I deemed to be the worst post-lockout contracts. Because there’s little more entertain than making fun of crappy hockey players…and you get to vote too!

A few caveats before I get to the bracket (arbitrarily organized by me of course!) and the first set of matchups. I kept the statistical basis simple. I tend to stay away from advanced stats because they cater to a very specific niche of mathematically inclined hockey fans and I want our reach to be broader than that. Thus my list was generated based on two observations: “they paid who, what?!” and “holy crap this guy signed a huge deal then tanked.” This also led me to focus on the larger deals? Are Cody McCormick’s and Paul Gaustad’s deals drastic overpayments? Yes. Do they belong on a list with players making five times as much? No.

So without further adieu, the bracket (which I will link to due to its size) and the first set of match-ups. Feel free to vote in the comments, on Twitter, or by yelling as you drive by my house. Voting will be open for approximately three days, at which point we will move on to the next matchup.

Round 1:

6). Dion Phaneuf


11). Brian Gionta

The Case for Phaneuf: He’s Dion Phaneuf, and also plays for the Maple Leafs.

The Case for Gionta: He costs $46,729 a point and I hate him.  Not really, but he doesn’t play for my team so really.

My Vote: The players speaketh.

3). Chris Drury


14). Rick Nash

The Case for Drury: He got paid Thomas Vanek money to put up Jochen Hecht points and then broke himself.  You know why?  Because god hates money grubbing traitors.

The Case for Nash: I just don’t like Nash.  Columbus gave him the captaincy because, seriously, who else was going to get it?  He makes a little less than half a mil more than Vanek and puts up fewer goals per game with greater icetime.  He does all that because there was literally no one else on Columbus who deserved to even look at the puck.  Pick your favorite reason, I’m still voting for Drury so I can continue to berate him.

My Vote: Crappy Chris.  It’s almost like you never personally nut-punched the Rangers in the playoffs.

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