Chicago Blackhawks Fans – Slurms McKenzie
Colorado Avalanche Fans – Calculon
Dallas Stars Fans – Guenter
Minnesota Wild Fans – Nibbler
Nashville Predators Fans – Warden Vogel
St. Louis Blues Fans – Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth
Winnipeg Jets Fans – The Honorable Judge Whitey
Anaheim Ducks Fans – Hyperchicken
Calgary Flames Fans – Flexo
Edmonton Oilers Fans – Reverend Lionel Preacherbot
Los Angeles Kings Fans – Hedonismbot
Phoenix Coyotes Fans – Hattie McDoogal
San Jose Sharks Fans – Tinny Tim
Vancouver Canucks Fans – Elzar
Boston Bruins Fans – Morbo the Annihilator
Buffalo Sabres Fans – Philip J. Fry
Detroit Red Wings Fans – Bender Bending Rodriguez
Florida Panthers Fans – John Zoidberg
Montreal Canadiens Fans – LRRR, RULER OF THE PLANET OMICRON PERSEI 8
Ottawa Senators Fans – Yancy Fry Jr.
Tampa Bay Lightning Fans – Scruffy the Janitor
Toronto Maple Leafs Fans – Brain Slug Host
Carolina Hurricanes Fans – Amy Wong
Columbus Blue Jackets Fans – Cubert Farnsworth
New Jersey Devils Fans – Roberto
New York Rangers Fans – Zapp Brannigan
New York Islanders Fans – Kif Kroker
Philadelphia Flyers – Sal
Pittsburgh Penguins – Professor Ogden Wernstrom
Washington Capitals Fans
Ugh. UGHHHHH. I’m sure this is a blatant troll piece designed to garner clicks from two fanbases that are always good for them. Why they didn’t have the Daniel Lawrence Whitney of hockey writing Ryan…erm…Larry the…erm TwoLinePass write it, I do not know. Perhaps he is moving on to extol upon us the virtues of incredibly boring Men’s Hockey East play. But I haven’t cut down a P*ck D*ddy column in a while so here we are.
Jack Eichel and Connor McDavid need to succeed. Considering the absurd amount of hype around these two prospects, it’s vital that they’re put in spots that have high potential for growth.
I thought this was a TEAM sport. The ULTIMATE TEAM SPORT. Why do these two random boners need to succeed? Conclusion: Josh Cooper is trying to destroy hockey from within.
The Sabres season has become a starless void with a beginning and end split so far wide they seem like mere figments of our imagination. Their record is x-y-z where y>>>>x and z is made up and the points don’t matter. And here Sabres fans sit, bumbling for matches against the frostbite of the Yukon Trail, our proper wolf dog ready to run off to other food- and fire-providers in the way of player after player leaving us, be it for the Amerks or to other franchises where hope is more than a cruel legend passed down by the man behind the bench.
Each game has become less distinguishable from the one that proceeded it. Someone asked me how many in a row the Sabres had lost. I said 6. The answer was 11. The only joy comes in reading box scores in cataloging and quantifying their horribleness, and in lighting the beacons to call for help by way of draft picks and futures, a premise that seems as futile as summoning the Rohirrim must have seemed to Denethor.
Meanwhile the Great Motivator’s voice grows fainter and fainter against the wind of mid-January, the players cackling like Théoden to Gandalf at playing a Sixty Minute Game or at dealing with hard practice sessions that have little purpose other than to hold up the charade that anyone cares.
Death is surely hovering over our franchise now, our fingers useless, our feet growing numb, the cold spreading. Soon we will stumble, then we will fall, then come now or come May, the most comfortable and satisfying sleep we have ever known.
Probably one of the coolest hockey videos I’ve seen in a while. Found by my friend @paulbux.
The ECAC is usually a three team race when it’s a race at all and things may very well turn out that way when the final games are played, but as it stands right now there are five teams with a legitimate shot at winning the conference’s regular season title.
Princeton and Dartmouth both have too many losses to consider and it’s a pretty steep drop-off after that. And were it not for a puzzling St. Lawrence loss to Brown and a slightly more understandable Cornell loss to Princeton, things would be even more interesting. Here’s the remaining strength of schedule for the top five:
So while Quinnipiac and Harvard seem to have the inside track, they’ve also played six of their eight games against Colgate, RPI, Brown, and Union. Fifth place Cornell meanwhile has five of those games left. Let’s look at each team.
As the NCAA season progresses, I’m going to publish weekly rankings in conjunction with the USCHO poll. These rankings will be entirely statistics based with the explanation as to how those stats are developed here. As I prefer to do when compiling rankings, a team’s final ranking will be determined by a summation of their rankings in various statistical categories:
- Overall winning percentage (pct)
- Percentage of shots taken (S%) – (Editor’s Note – This is essentially the best imitator of Corsi %. I’m told that shot attempts (Shots on goal plus missed shots plus shots taken that get blocked) are recorded but that data is not available anywhere.)
- Percentage of shots taken relative to Opponents’ S% (Rel S%)
- S% versus teams with an S% of 50% or more
- Rel S% versus teams with an S% of 50 or more
- Shooting Percentage (Sht%)
- Save Percentage (Sv%)