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Stars and Black Holes: Sabres @ Avalanche: 1-30-2014



Sometimes the brutality of a good old fashioned ass-whooping is fun to watch.  That’s been one of the annoying things about the Sabres this year, that the goaltending has kept games close enough to either not give up completely, or to ramp up the drinking as they become complete laughers.  Not the case in Colorado where the Avalanche were one goal shy of taking the Broncos to overtime.

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Stars and Black Holes: Coyotes @ Sabres: 1-30-2014




  1. Zemgus Girgensons  – Always nice to see this guy get points.
  2. Ryan Miller – American hero.
  3. Steve Ott

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Stars and Black Holes: Capitals @ Sabres: 1-28-2014


I didn’t watch the Penguins game since I had an inline hockey game at roughly the same time.  Looking at the box score, it would seem I didn’t miss much.  On to the Capitals and Jhonas Enroth’s hilarious inability to win a hockey game.  Oy.  The Sabres, which have traditionally done a decent job of shutting down Ovechkin, allowed him a 2 goal, 4 point night.  (RIP Andrej Sekera)  Anyway, on to the important stuff.


  1. Cody Hodgson – If Hodgson can be a consistent offensive force I can live with him being the defensive equivalent of a cat with a piece of tape stuck to its head.
  2. Christian Ehrhoff – Hey guys, I’m still really, really good.
  3. Matt Moulson – Our best offensive forward at the moment.  Sigh.

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Vulgar Statistics: Why Does Jhonas Enroth Suck?

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It’s no secret that Jhonas Enroth has struggled to win games this season.  “Games,” in fact, is quite literal as he has only one win.  He’s 1-11-4 to Ryan Miller’s slightly better 13-19-3.  The popular narrative has been that the team just doesn’t score in front of Enroth, but is that actually true?  And more to the point, why does Jhonas Enroth suck?

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Stars and Black Holes: Sabres @ Blue Jackets: 1-25-2014


The weirdest part of the whole thing, I think, was after getting out-Corsi-ed by 60, the Sabres managed juuust enough puck possession at the end to tally an empty net goal.


  1. Ryan Miller – 36 saves seems like a good night.
  2. Christian Ehrhoff – Three points and three shots.
  3. Tyler Myers, Jamie McBain, and Chad Ruhwedel – As much as MIller’s play was spectacular, so too was the amount of shots that never got to Miller.  13 blocked shots between these three.

Unsung Hero:

  • None.

The Robert Wade Niedermayer Memorial Black Holes:

  1. None.    Screw it, this is as enjoyable as a game as they’ve had all season.  Ville Leino had a point!  Mike Weber had two whole shots!

Unseen Goat:

  • None.

2013-2014 Leaderboard (+3, +2, +1, +2 for Stars and USH, minus the same for Black Holes and USG)

  1. Ryan Miller +37
  2. Jhonas Enroth +18
  3. Zemgus Girgensons +17
  4. Marcus Foligno +14
  5. Christian Ehrhoff +12
  6. Brian Flynn +10
  7. Mark Pysyk +8
  8. Nikita Zadorov +3
  9. Mikhail Grigorenko +3
  10. Matt Ellis +3
  11. Jamie McBain +3
  12. Matt D’Agostini +2
  13. Rasmus Ristolainen +1
  14. Corey Tropp +1
  15. Luke Adam +1
  16. Chad Ruhwedel +1
  17. Matt Moulson -2
  18. Johan Larsson -2
  19. Patrick Kaleta -2
  20. Cody McCormick -3
  21. Zenon Konopka -3
  22. Alex Sulzer -4
  23. John Scott -4
  24. Kevin Porter -4
  25. Steve Ott -4
  26. Cody Hodgson -9
  27. Ville Leino -12
  28. Tyler Myers -13
  29. Tyler Ennis -19
  30. Henrik Tallinder -19
  31. Mike Weber -25
  32. Drew Stafford -30

Vulgar Statistics: Ehrhoff And Karlsson



Earlier this evening I was watching the Sabres game, minding my own business, when someone brought up Christian Ehrhoff in the game chat that accompanies the feed.  The initial comment was something like “I’d trade Ehrhoff,” in complete seriousness.  (The comment is too far back for me to retrieve it.)  That said, the following are exact quotes that I did pull:

Ehrhoff played with the Sedins, Thronton Marleau Couture Kesler etc etc etc and Karlsson’s PPG is double

he was also 21, 22 and 23 those years. He’s a better player. Again my whole point is Batman vs. Robin.

[Ehrhoff is a Robin not a Batman] becaue he doesnt generate offense by himself

[Ehrhoff is a Robin not a Batman because Karlsson had] 1 PPG for 3 years while being a + player over that time.

Additional criticisms for Ehrhoff were that he doesn’t produce as much in Buffalo as he did in Vancouver (or San Jose), that he shoots wide too much, and (sort of illustrated above) that he can’t carry the offense, whatever subjective definition gets applied to that.

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Vulgar Statistics: The Best Franchise In NHL History


And by NHL History I obviously mean after the league expanded to 12 teams because no one gives a crap about pre-Civil Rights, 1 in 6 odds at a championship hockey.  There are many ways to attempt to define success.  You can go by number of championships, number of playoff victories, playoff winning percentage, number of postseasons made, overall winning percentage, points percentage, and if you really want, goal differential.

I decided to judge NHL teams against their peers using a percentile system.  For those that don’t know, a percentile is a percentage of participants that you are better than.  If you finish first, you are in the 100th percentile because you are better than everyone.  If you finished, say, 11th in the 1981-1982 season, you are the 50th percentile.  There were 21 teams in the league, which means 10 were better, and 10 were worse.  Got it?  Grand.  Here’s the spreadsheet if you want to fiddle around with it.

All Time

Rank Team Average
1 Boston 74.3%
2 Montreal 69.8%
3 Philadelphia 67.6%
4 Dallas 64.1%
5 Colorado Avalanche 62.4%
6 New Jersey 59.7%
7 Detroit 58.8%
8 Buffalo 57.5%
9 NY Rangers 57.2%
10 Calgary 55.6%
11 Chicago 55.2%
12 San Jose 54.4%
13 St. Louis 52.3%
14 Atlanta Flames 51.9%
15 Washington 51.7%
16 Ottawa 50.6%
17 Pittsburgh 50.5%
18 Edmonton 48.8%
19 Anaheim 45.7%
20 Nashville 45.1%
21 Phoenix 45.1%
22 NY Islanders 43.0%
23 Toronto 42.4%
24 Quebec 42.3%
25 Vancouver 42.1%
26 Los Angeles 40.6%
27 Minnesota Wild 40.3%
28 Carolina 38.9%
29 Minnesota North Stars 34.9%
30 Winnipeg Jets I 34.8%
31 Winnipeg Jets II 34.5%
32 Florida 32.3%
33 Hartford 31.8%
34 Tampa Bay 26.8%
35 Cleveland Barons 24.0%
36 Atlanta Thrashers 19.7%
37 Columbus 18.6%
38 Oakland/California Golden Seals 13.3%
39 Colorado Rockies 7.5%
40 Kansas City Scouts 6.0%

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