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Vulgar Opinons: The Draft – NHL Void



People are finding out all over Twitter today that the Rochester Amerks are set to play a game at the First Niagara Center tomorrow at 7:05 against the Grand Rapids Griffins.  Now please wait while I congratulate myself for publicizing this event more than the Sabres (or Amerks) have.  It’s especially damning when the Sabres themselves are a cauldron of failure and the players on the Amerks are about the only real reason to be legitimately hopeful for the franchise heading into the future.

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Vulgar Statistics: Compete Level


It began, like so many games have this season, with truly terrible hockey.  And a tweet by Dear God Why Us’s contributor sba:

SBA Tweet

Over the course of the next hour and several tweets he laid the groundwork and outlined the key statistical contributors while I crunched the numbers in Excel.  The objective was simple: to highlight the Ted Nolaniest of Ted Nolan’s players and give them their due praise.

No small task as you can see

No small task as you can see

And so the Compete Level formula was born:

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Stars and Black Holes: Sabres @ Avalanche: 1-30-2014



Sometimes the brutality of a good old fashioned ass-whooping is fun to watch.  That’s been one of the annoying things about the Sabres this year, that the goaltending has kept games close enough to either not give up completely, or to ramp up the drinking as they become complete laughers.  Not the case in Colorado where the Avalanche were one goal shy of taking the Broncos to overtime.

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Stars and Black Holes: Coyotes @ Sabres: 1-30-2014




  1. Zemgus Girgensons  – Always nice to see this guy get points.
  2. Ryan Miller – American hero.
  3. Steve Ott

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Stars and Black Holes: Capitals @ Sabres: 1-28-2014


I didn’t watch the Penguins game since I had an inline hockey game at roughly the same time.  Looking at the box score, it would seem I didn’t miss much.  On to the Capitals and Jhonas Enroth’s hilarious inability to win a hockey game.  Oy.  The Sabres, which have traditionally done a decent job of shutting down Ovechkin, allowed him a 2 goal, 4 point night.  (RIP Andrej Sekera)  Anyway, on to the important stuff.


  1. Cody Hodgson – If Hodgson can be a consistent offensive force I can live with him being the defensive equivalent of a cat with a piece of tape stuck to its head.
  2. Christian Ehrhoff – Hey guys, I’m still really, really good.
  3. Matt Moulson – Our best offensive forward at the moment.  Sigh.

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Vulgar Statistics: Why Does Jhonas Enroth Suck?

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It’s no secret that Jhonas Enroth has struggled to win games this season.  “Games,” in fact, is quite literal as he has only one win.  He’s 1-11-4 to Ryan Miller’s slightly better 13-19-3.  The popular narrative has been that the team just doesn’t score in front of Enroth, but is that actually true?  And more to the point, why does Jhonas Enroth suck?

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Stars and Black Holes: Sabres @ Blue Jackets: 1-25-2014


The weirdest part of the whole thing, I think, was after getting out-Corsi-ed by 60, the Sabres managed juuust enough puck possession at the end to tally an empty net goal.


  1. Ryan Miller – 36 saves seems like a good night.
  2. Christian Ehrhoff – Three points and three shots.
  3. Tyler Myers, Jamie McBain, and Chad Ruhwedel – As much as MIller’s play was spectacular, so too was the amount of shots that never got to Miller.  13 blocked shots between these three.

Unsung Hero:

  • None.

The Robert Wade Niedermayer Memorial Black Holes:

  1. None.    Screw it, this is as enjoyable as a game as they’ve had all season.  Ville Leino had a point!  Mike Weber had two whole shots!

Unseen Goat:

  • None.

2013-2014 Leaderboard (+3, +2, +1, +2 for Stars and USH, minus the same for Black Holes and USG)

  1. Ryan Miller +37
  2. Jhonas Enroth +18
  3. Zemgus Girgensons +17
  4. Marcus Foligno +14
  5. Christian Ehrhoff +12
  6. Brian Flynn +10
  7. Mark Pysyk +8
  8. Nikita Zadorov +3
  9. Mikhail Grigorenko +3
  10. Matt Ellis +3
  11. Jamie McBain +3
  12. Matt D’Agostini +2
  13. Rasmus Ristolainen +1
  14. Corey Tropp +1
  15. Luke Adam +1
  16. Chad Ruhwedel +1
  17. Matt Moulson -2
  18. Johan Larsson -2
  19. Patrick Kaleta -2
  20. Cody McCormick -3
  21. Zenon Konopka -3
  22. Alex Sulzer -4
  23. John Scott -4
  24. Kevin Porter -4
  25. Steve Ott -4
  26. Cody Hodgson -9
  27. Ville Leino -12
  28. Tyler Myers -13
  29. Tyler Ennis -19
  30. Henrik Tallinder -19
  31. Mike Weber -25
  32. Drew Stafford -30

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