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The New York Scam Artists

05/14/14

The New York Rangers have, once again, hoodwinked us all into believing they’re a team worth watching.  Last night they scored a goal 5:25 into their game seven matchup against the Pittsburgh Penguins and decided…eh, probably good enough.  It wasn’t, and so they scored again 7:56 into the second period and once again devolved into their unique style that somehow transcends coaching and roster makeup.

Calling last night’s game boring would be a flat out lie.  It was definitely not boring watching to see if one of the dumbest hockey strategies would somehow pay off.  And the ensuing spate of Corsi-deniers pointing out the worthlessness of a team roundly dominating their opponent wasn’t boring either.

But it wasn’t exciting.  Or at least it wasn’t exciting because the Rangers play good hockey.  It was exciting like watching your drunk friend try to attempt to jump from your couch to your kitchen table is exciting, worth paying attention to solely because it’s an exercise in stupidity.  That’s what Rangers hockey is, an exercise in stupidity that sometimes pays off.

And so the Rangers have fooled the hockey universe again.  You know, they’re a decent possession team, and they have some big names, and they’ve made it this far while Rick Nash, who seems to have the mindset of that Little League kid that just wants to quit this sporty shit and go get ice cream, has done practically nothing…  They’re a dark horse!

Give me a break.  This isn’t 1994.  Mark Messier is old, this Rangers team is worse, and every team left in the playoffs is better than the 7th seeded Canucks they lucked into barely beating.  The jig, will soon be up.

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