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Vulgar Opinions: Whiniest Fanbase In The NHL (NSFW)

02/01/13

Hey Boston, what’s up!

That’s right, for all their clamoring about having the toughest team, and for all their criticisms of the Montreal Canadiens, the Boston Bruins fanbase is absolutely the worst.  It’s bad enough that 95% of their gameday threads on HFBoards are people bitching at the refs, but their over-reactions to the most hockeyish of hockey plays is nothing sort of stunning.  Let’s review:

What has it taken to get Sabres fans pissed off?

  • Johnny Boychuk slashing, and then stepping on Thomas Vanek’s leg, sidelining him for most of a playoff series.
  • Zdeno Chara attacking Paul Gaustad with no time left on the clock without any provocation.
  • Milan Lucic concussing Ryan Miller on a late hit (it was performed no earlier than the Rome – Horton hit, look it up) that Miller had no choice but to take.

And what has it taken to get Bruins fans pissed off?

  • John Scott concussing Shawn Thornton in a planned fight that Thornton was under no obligation to perform.
  • Noted tough guy (he’s fought Chris Neil and Scott Hartnell, and if Boston fans have taught us anything, it’s that continually getting your ass whooped makes you tough, right Gregory Campbell?) Drew Stafford elbowing Doug Hamilton in the “upper body.”  (According to Hamilton himself, which I will link to if I find it.  But isn’t it telling that Bruins fans are such whiners that you can’t even have a discussion on HF about it without a mod closing the topic?)
  • Lindy Ruff calling time out.

Seriously, Sabres fans get pissed off because the Bruins have injured their two best players.  Boston gets pissed off because Lindy Ruff calls timeout.  And we’re the wimpy ones?  No sir.  Bruins fans are so whiny, they had to invent an accent and a rivalry to stop being mistaken for Canadiens fans.  They’re so whiny, sorority girls get drunk just by looking at them.

You know why?  They’re inferior.  You can tell by the constant amount of shit they talk to Habs and Yankees fans, despite the fact that those teams have approximately infinity more championships than they do.  You can tell by Bill Simmons’s incessant whining about “helmet catch,” even though (news flash Bill), there wasn’t any holding on that play.  Go watch it.

And it’s especially true of their hockey.  Ask yourself, what does Boston have to its name?  Do they have the most cups?  Nope.  Do they have a lot of cups?  More than some, but not really.  Do they have a great winning percentage in the cup finals?  Nope.  Do they have great fans?  Nope.  Do they have a great coach?  Nope.  Do they have a great owner? What is that, a joke?  Do they have a superstar player?  Nope.  (No one cares about defensemen.)  Is their goalie crazy?  Yep.  Does it matter which goalie?  Nope.  Quick, what are the last things Boston was in the news for?

  • Crazy goalie
  • Injuring Miller
  • Injuring Pacioretty
  • Hating Black People  (I’ll give them a pass for this one, not because it’s okay, but because no other fanbase can escape from the embarrassment of its crappiest members.)

If you’re confident, little things just roll off your back.  If not…Lindy Ruff called timeout?  OH NO HE DIDN’T!

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