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Vulgar Opinions: The Hilarity Of Fake Twitter Accounts

08/24/12

By now you’ve likely heard the complaints from various sportswriters.  There are a number of Twitter accounts either falsely passing themselves off as people with access or trickily (not really) imitating someone who actually does have access.  To most of us these accounts are idle nuisances, easily recognized, and even more easily dismissed.  To professional sportswriters, they are apparently the bane of their existence as a number of them have been caught jumping on false rumors.

Hilarious.  What’s happening here?  Why can most of us ferret these guys out in a second when the ‘professionals’ can’t?  It isn’t because they were too old, short-sighted, or lazy to embrace a tool (the internet) that could enhance their job, and are now arriving late to the party is it?  Never!  Don’t these writers realize that the more they complain about these fake Twitter accounts, the more they embarrass themselves (and the more they prolong the problem)?  Most of us have utilized the block button and moved on…and then here comes another mainstream writer complaining once more.  Hello…they’re only an issue if you’re dumb enough to let them be one.  I guess a lot of writers are.

What’s funny is that most sportswriters don’t realize how much they need the masquerading idiots.  In a world where bloggers are getting better and better, where sportswriters are finding out that there are people willing to do their job with more effort for free, where a journalism degree is growing less and less important than simply being a good writer, they need something they can highlight that still sets them above the amateurs.  If you look on Twitter at who is complaining about these accounts the most, I bet you’d generally find the worse the writer, the more vocal the whining.  (Right Buffalo News?)  SEE GUYS, THAT’S WHY THE NEWSPAPER IS STILL RELEVANT!  THOSE DAMN FAKE ACCOUNTS!  (Actually you’d think at least one of them would have made a few fake accounts on their own just to push a “that’s why you don’t trust bloggers” narrative.)

If you’re a guy that likes to sit back and watch the world burn like me, this is all great entertainment.  Watching some of these writers go nuts over fake accounts is like watching the jerk who cut you off in traffic get pulled over ten seconds later.  It’s even better that they only have themselves to blame.  Hey guys, maybe you should’ve gotten here with the rest of us fifteen years ago instead of futilely clinging to your printing presses.  No one may like the generation that follows them, but they also cannot deny that each subsequent generation gets better at making it’s predecessors irrelevant.  Most don’t realize that the way to fight that irrelevancy isn’t to fight the incoming generation, it’s to join them.

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