Vulgar Opinions: Mikhail Grigorenko Sucks, May Also Be Russian
I figured I’d beat TBN and many fans to the punch and start talking about how disappointing and awful and lazy and foreign Mikhail Grigorenko is. Did you hear that ‘columnists?’ The source is here, the breaking news is here, none of this “we had it first and we’re vetting it” crap. And while we’re on the topic, we need to come up with an answer to “basement brigade,” for those hacks we all know and love. I nominate “White Van Posse.”
I want to start right in on running all future foreign players out of town. Because if there’s one thing we all learned from the likes of Afinogenov, Kalinin, Satan, and Hasek, it’s that those damn foreigners aren’t to be trusted. Because why give Thomas Vanek, Andrej Sekera, Jochen Hecht, or Mikhail Grigorenko a fair shot when the ‘foreigner’ narrative is practically written for you? Never mind that Thomas Vanek has been our best forward for the last five seasons, that Andrej Sekera has made far fewer mistakes in the past few years than Hamilton-crowned best player on the team Tyler Myers, and that advanced statistics do volumes to highlight Jochen Hecht’s impressive contributions to the Sabres.
I want to make sure I’m the one that highlights the first Grigorenko mistake as proof of what we’ve known about Russian players all along. I think I can be pretty effective in this regard, after all, I’ve watched the White Van Posse crap all over the first bad thing Sekera does while ignoring the significant pile of Triceratops turds North American heroes Tyler Myers and Mike Weber have left in their own end. I guess we’re lacking a Buffalo Sam Neill to sift through it. (Note to self: remove reference, Sam Neill is foreign.)
Isn’t it kind of pathetic that in a league where a significant number of players are European, we’ve had exactly three European Conn Smythe winners (Malkin, Zetterberg, Lidstrom), few European captains, fewer European coaches, and precisely one European official, Marcus Vinnerborg who began officiating in the NHL in 2010 (!), and is now retired.
Good lord, we suck.