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Vulgar Opinions: Well Done Mr. Vokoun (NSFW)

10/11/11
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I have to hand it to the guy, he’s spent his entire career lounging in the warm friendly Nashville and Florida markets piling up awesome stats on mediocre to terrible teams to the point where everyone thinks he’s awesome only to have the deepest team in the league throw money at him to sit in the crease every night and be a warm body while the forwards score six goals a night.  Well done Mr. Vokoun.

Scratch that…fuck you Mr. Vokoun.  You are the A-Rod of hockey.  Vancouver should have signed him so he could join two other guys who give so many more shits about international hockey than they do about fighting tooth and nail to find the ultimate success in the NHL.  Wait, wait…I can show my disdain for Vokoun so much better.  Hey, hey, what do you get when you put goalie pads on Alexei Kovalev?

And now Vokoun gets to play for the Washington Capitals where he could lie comatose in the crease and pile up wins.  You know…or not.  Which honestly was a brilliant move by the Capitals because it says to Vokoun…”hey dickshit, we have enough players putting in a 70% effort, you give us 90% or better or you sit.”  Although it will probably be countered by the whole “you’ve spent the last five years playing for nothing, welcome to an organization that is going to burn like Vancouver circa 2011 (too soon?) if it doesn’t win the cup.”  I’m not sure what it’s like to go from playing in front of a half empty building for a team with no expectations to playing for a full house on a team with no tolerance for failure…but it should be a spectacular show.  My hope and bet is on Vokoun’s psyche completely imploding by way of god awful play or a media shitstorm when Michal Neuvirth (rightfully) takes the starting job for good.

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