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Vulgar Opinions: Western Conference Hockey Rocks (NSFW)

09/20/11
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Alright, now that I’ve laid the groundwork for what a jerk I can really be when given room to roam and the f-word (thank you beautiful f-word), I figure I’ll jump around the map a little bit.  Holy (expletive)!  A positive post!

I love watching Western Conference hockey more than I’d love wearing gloves made out of boobs.

You don’t even want to know what I got when I image searched “boob gloves”

Look, you guys have read my first few entries, so it’s become clear by now that I hate a lot of teams, and most of those teams happen to be in the Eastern Conference.  So…hello Western Conference!  I think another part of it is the fact that I’ve been to many of the states and cities that house Eastern Conference teams, enough to become sufficiently disgusted by them.  In contrast, the only Western Conference city I’ve been to is Toronto (impending new home of the Coyotes of course).

The Western Conference teams are so intangible to me, they’re almost imaginary.  Watching them is almost as enchanting as watching a couple of foreign countries go at it.  Nashville vs. St. Louis?  Ooo, look at the pretty uniforms.  And the best part about it is that I can simply enjoy watching some great hockey without crunching numbers and worrying about how it impacts the Sabres, or cursing out the Capitals for coming up turds against the Hurricanes late in the year.  (You don’t want to know how long I spent looking at the images that “coming up turds” gave me.  Thank you sweet internet.)

I like hockey, a lot, but sometimes I forget that.  Watching the Western Conference is a reminder of that because I can just root for good hockey.  I don’t have to worry about the army of Eastern Conference teams fighting the Sabres for one of eight playoff spots.  If there’s one thing that nobody likes it’s joy being tainted by potential doom.

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