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Vulgar Statistics: Home Ice Advantage V: The Results

09/05/11
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This is the final part in my Home Ice Advantage series where I will take everything we’ve looked at so far (plus a few things that weren’t substantial enough for their own entry), put them all together, and then rank the teams that have the biggest bump in overall performance at home.  And then make snap judgments and maybe ridicule Devan Dubnyk while I’m at it.

To reiterate: this isn’t a ranking of the teams that have played the best at home (because that would more or less be in order of the best to the worst teams overall since the lockout).  This is a ranking of teams that see the biggest percentage increases in multiple categories at home versus on the road.  Now that we’ve got that squared away…

A little acronym explanation (in order): Wins, Points, Goals For, Goals Against, Powerplay Percentage, Penalty Kill Percentage, Power Play Opportunities, Penalty Kill Opportunities, Shootout Winning Percentage, and Overtime Winning Percentage.

I’ve already touched on how there is little to no correlation between anything in earlier parts so let’s just make snap judgments about each team with little to no basis in fact.

Final Thoughts:

Nashville – I’ll bet it totally sucks flying across the entire country to play hockey if you’re a Western Conference team.  Plus…country music!  The horror!  (I actually like country though, sue me.)

Anaheim – Raise your hand if you come to Anaheim and you’re head’s out in the gorgeous weather and not in the game.  Thought so.

Washington – Visitors fear Alexander Semin’s war…er…bongos.

Minnesota – These people have more college hockey fans than some cities have people.  Nuts.

Columbus – Raise your hand if you come to Columbus and you’re thinking about getting out of Columbus more than you’re thinking about hockey.  (I kid, I kid.)

Calgary – Because you have to beat Kipper and mini Kipper.

Vancouver – Let’s face it, the Sedins are creepier than a room full of ventriloquist dummies.  That has to affect your play.

Carolina – Even the French judge gives their diving a 10/10.

Ottawa – If a performance is superior at home in Ottawa, is anyone around to see it?

Chicago – Ah, the last of the top ten.  Must be those classically good looking jerseys.

Pittsburgh – Shiny new arena, same mediocre fans.

Tampa Bay – Home ice advantage in Tampa > Home ice advantage in Boston.  Not even a stupid bear can refute that.

St. Louis – Seems like St. Louis does pretty much everything better at home…except win.

Los Angeles – Not even Wesley Crusher can put them into the top ten.

Dallas – Bring back the mooterus!

Buffalo – The Sabres have played 5% of their home games since the lockout under Terry Pegula and 95% under Tom Golisano.  And they’re middle of the pack.  T-Pegs’s influence is strong (and apparently retroactive).

Colorado – Refs do a lot of arm raising in Colorado.  That thin air must make it easier.

Montreal – Ole ole ole, enjoy eighteenth place.

New Jersey – I went to New Jersey for the first time this summer, it was nice.  How about less making fun of New Jersey for being gross, more making fun of Ohio for being gross.  They had a river catch fire!  Come on!

Phoenix – Hardest arena in the league to get to for the home fans.  Hamilton to Phoenix is a nightmare.

Florida – Florida is notorious for doing some wonky promotions to get butts in the seats.  Hmm, how can they better appeal to the residents of Miami?  Note: Answering this question honestly make make you subject to DEA investigation.

NYI – Hey when was the last time you were third place in your division in anything?!  (Guessing 06-07? (Nope, 03-04.))

NYR – Hey when was the last time you were fourth in your division in anything?!  (09-10, 08-09, and 98-99 through 03-04)

San Jose – Bummed to see the Shark Tank this low.  Truly under-appreciated atmosphere there.

Toronto – The Leafs are like many comedians; unintentionally hilarious and they often do a good enough job making fun of themselves so that you don’t have to.

Detroit – I’m sure Detroit fans are in no way aware of this article thanks to their Stanley Cup rings blocking off every sense.  Sigh.

Atlanta – Let’s hope Winnipeg treats them a little kinder.

Philadelphia – I’m glad their fans get to see putrid performances at home, but not as glad that…

Boston – …these fans get to see putrid performances at home.

Edmonton – Sigh, poor poor Edmonton.  I’m not sure what’s less likely, a traded player showing up in Edmonton, or the team showing up at home.

Coming Soon:  Sometimes I have ideas lined up for weeks, sometimes I don’t know what I’m going to write until it’s written.  But if you do have something to look forward to, I figure I’ll let you know.  Look for a Stanley Cup Hangover article as well as Weekly Stats-Based Power Rankings (to be posted Fridays).

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